So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
