Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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