are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
