I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
