Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I AM VODKA MAN
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
