I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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