Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Drake has all the answers
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
