We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
