they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
