is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
