my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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