Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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