bring money and cleavage
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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