Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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