seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Randomize
