I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
