TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize