He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
