Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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