the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
