is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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