it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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