It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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