I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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