3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
