oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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