That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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