you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Girls should come with a carfax report
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Ladies don't puke and tell
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
