there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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