maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
