I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
