Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize