I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize