i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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