We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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