my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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