I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
