Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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