She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
