I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
