thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
we should paint friendship bongs
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
