garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
