there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
