Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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