If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
