you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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