Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
