new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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