my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
