Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
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