no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
