just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
