I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
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Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
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My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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