wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
