Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
high people should be assigned attendants
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
