her vagine was all disorganized.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
