Porn is love you can see.
I could make wine with my vomit
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize