Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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