ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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