don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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