Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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