what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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