Reggie can tackle my bush.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
If I had your ass I would rule the world
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
