I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
